I am sinful, i am sinful i am sinful i am sinful i am sinful..........
Lord, please tell me what is the way you have arranged for me. Many people are struggling to figure out their own life or trying their best to escape this reality. Lord, i am the person who are doing what i hate to do, but are away from doing what i want to do. Lord, you understand me much more than i can know myself. Over the last 30 years, you have always been with me no matter i was very lonely, desperate or happy. Lord, you have selected me and i can not understand you. You created this world and our servants to manage all the stuff for you. However, we are away from you and have been sinful and created trouble ourselves. Why there are so many bitterness and loneliness and fights in this worldly place. That is because we disobey you and think we are the lord ourselves. Actually, we are not, we are human beings, much weaker than many animals and much mentally evil than even snakes. We do not deserve your care. If people live in your world,we can find out the real peace because we live in the order.
Today, we watched a video talking about the testimonies of many pastors who are from Chinese mainland and are living overseas. I was inspired and moved by their testimonies partly because we come from the same background and have the similar thinking. Different people are granted with different abilities and lives in this world for different purposes. I tend to ask what is my purpose living in this world and why God created me and what God's will to shape me with all kinds of people around me and all the failures and success? Or if God is going to shape me like them. God knows my talents and He will do that. What i need to do is trying to correct myself and maybe at some points i can hear the sounds from God.
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